Archive for August, 2008

Sunday, Sanctuary, and Stuff

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Sunday in Sanctuary and I am fat and happy.

I just finished a fine breakfast and am trying out a new keyboard that the Mrs. chose to give to me. Her new computer won’t use this one due to a tragic not-matching plug accident.

I kinda ended up with a new computer as well, a nearly fatally corrupt unit that one of the ungrateful bastards had for a while. I got my little grubbies on it and began stripping useless nonsense from it immediately. The virus protection was wasted and the firewall barely working at all. I am presently doing battle with a Trojan that got in when he used to leave his machine run for months at a time.

Again; You can lead a child to knowledge, but you can’t make him think.

On a better note;

I dragged my doghouse back to sanctuary and am going to be sleeping in my own bed again for a while. The project is (hopefully) drawing to a close and I am going to commute again. After about a year living in the Doghouse I am ready for a toilet that flushes and a shower that is bigger than a footbath.

The asylum that I call a jobsite is worse than ever with fingers pointing in many directions and panic joining the smell of manure in the air. The manure is from the brand spanking new landscaping and the panic is from the general contractor realizing what was actually going on for the past year.

They have an event scheduled for Wednesday and appear to be hopelessly not ready. There is temporary fencing going up to keep the innocent from falling in a hole or tripping on some construction debris that never seems to make the trip to the dumpster. I am finally getting to the point where I am more amused than angry. We have completed all our contract work and are there just to see what things they want changed or improved.

Between the job being close to done and sleeping at home again I might just turn back into a person that the Mrs. might want to spent time with.

Remington

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

Remington the Terrorist Goldfish died.

If you don’t know the tale of Remington, then perhaps you should go for a flash to the past and read; “Doing the right thing” to get caught up.

Remington has been with us for about 10 years. He is the oldest goldfish that I know of and had a good life. I think he was one damn lucky fish.

His passing caused a bit of Empty Nest Syndrome here in Sanctuary. The ungrateful bastards are now in college and I am seldom here, leaving the Mrs. alone for much of the time, but it took the passing of Remington to tug her heart strings.

Let us all mourn the passing of the fish.

Bye, fish!

He now resides in a little unmarked fishy grave where I placed him after muttering some insincere words.

Rest in peace, you little towel wearing trouble maker!

Wrath

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

The wrath of Troll came to nothing.

My glasses were ready when I went in to bitch about not having them. While I was pleased in one way I was disappointed that I did not get to show them my other Troll side. Sigh.

The only hitch was that they did not call. The glasses were ready earlier than expected, but they just never got around to calling, which just might be my fault. I told them that I am working out of town and would just come back in a couple of weeks. I just HAVE to plan my wrath better.

And speaking of planning….I am not really satisfied with all of the previous post. I wonder if a train wreck would be better than a plane crash.

The engineers are having a good time while the brakeman and conductor are all thinking that this is a runaway train.

Yeah. I like train better. It works better on several levels. This project is a runaway train and we are running out of track.

I am not going to go back and rewrite it. You just use your imagination and insert the proper symbols where appropriate. I am not so vain that I can’t show a mistake now and again.

That will teach me to plan better.

Glasses and Plane Crashes

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

Today makes it two weeks since I ordered my new glasses.

For a place that advertises service ‘in about an hour’ I think that this service is less than perfect.

I think I will pay them a visit and show them a little of my Troll side.

The last time I got glasses I waited for far longer than the two weeks they said it would take. I remember talking to them just before I left for deep South Texas. It was January of ‘06 and I was in a much better mood.

I had another opportunity to show my Troll side this week when one of the people that are supposed to be running the asylum decided to call me out in public for a rather small problem that I pointed out to him a couple of weeks ago. He had decided that I should take it upon myself to fix this problem for him.

It was not my problem, and I refused to fix it. Then I shoved his face in the fact that he did not even know what the problem really is. I knew more about this thing than he did, having actually looked at the plans, and made everything that I was involved with as was called for. Too bad that someone else made an error that made other things not work as they should.

Now I am certain that he will be looking for something to pull on me. He is that kind of guy. He could have saved himself some embarrassment by just doing his job instead of stopping at the obvious answer. Actually pulling out a tape measure and checking things might have helped, too.

I have noticed that the people that are supposed to be in control of this project are like drunken airline pilots. They are at the controls and have not looked out the window for quite some time. When one of the stewards points out that the ground seems close, the pilots reply that nothing is wrong and not to say anything to anyone else. In the meantime the plane is slowly getting closer to crashing.

Just yesterday I thought I heard trees hitting the belly of the plane while the pilots were out to lunch.

It must suck to be them.

I should be jumping off the plane any time now. We have finished installing things and I am just waiting for the list of things that the people that design buildings want us to make better. This list is called a ‘punch list’.

I was supposed to have all the punch lists for all areas at the end of this last week.

I actually received one list for one area. There are many areas left to do.

It must suck to be them.

An open letter to the dead

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

To the long decayed persons that once rested in the place where I now am attempting to finish building a building;

I am not the one(s) that you should be mad at. I am just another guy trying to feed his family and get ahead in the corporeal world. I did not intentionally disturb your long sleep and would be somewhere else not disturbing the dead if I had any say in the matter.

Please leave us industrious worker-bee/ field types alone, but please do feel free to torment those that actually run this job and sit in the office trailers. It is entirely their fault. They are the ones that choose to make holes where you are resting. They are the ones that feel that they have to move your bones; not we field people.

After working with these particular office types I envy you your long rest. I am kept awake at night wondering what kind of stupid decision they are going to make and what it will take to fix these changes that they have failed to think through. I run from crisis to crisis caused by their lack of ability and jump through hoops to get the things done that would be finished long ago if they had any organizational skills at all. I am very tired.

I believe that if those particular office people were not here, the building would be done by now and you could all go back to resting as you were before all this hubbub began and they started digging in your bed.

I think that it would be appropriate to put some ectoplasm in their poop holes or force ghostly projections into their overly warm entrails. Covering their desks in some green, bad smelling, other worldly slime would very much deserved. Plugging their toilets or talking through their phones and computers would seem appropriate for what they have done to you.

I understand why you feel that you have to extend physic tendrils of terror up the asses of the people at this site; it’s just that I think you are choosing the wrong people. If you pick those that are actually responsible they will whine and cry far more than those in the field. The people in the field are used to getting the short end of the stick. If you perform physic enemas on the office people they will cry like little girls, while the field people will just roll their eyes and think, “Here we go again, sigh.”

We actually WANT to be somewhere else, while the office people think the longer they are disturbing you the more money they will make. You see, they blame you as the reason they are not done. They claim the ‘weather’ is the cause, but we all know that they are saying that YOU are the reason they are late.

I hope that I can persuade you to let those of us that actually do things get on with the job and confine your torture to those that have their hands on the reins of the job; The Management. That way we can finish much more quickly and you can bestow upon them the punishment that they deserve.

Thank you.

Metaphysical People

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

These are the worker bees in every industry that are merrily working away one second and are simply gone the next.

It has to be magic. They just disappear in the blink of an eye only to return sometime later like ghosts from the mist. If you ask them where they have been they always say, “To the bathroom.”

I have never been able to teleport to the bathroom. I wish I could. That would save me a lot of time every day instead of hiking to the filthy, graffiti ridden outhouses that pass for sanitary facilities on most construction sites. I could flick myself into a nice clean facility with real flush toilets and paper that does not feel like it was originally meant to be used to smooth wood.

I have asked these metaphysical people how they do it and they refuse to share their secret. I have tried threatening to fasten the outhouse doors shut while they are inside until they tell me the secret, but if they can flick in then they can probably flick out as well. That would explain why they laugh at me.

If this keeps up I will have to convince them that flicking will cause them to become immune to getting high and that drugs and alcohol will no longer have any effect. I believe that is the only thing that would influence their thinking.

If I can’t flick then they shouldn’t either.

Rumors

Sunday, August 3rd, 2008

The Internet failed to make connections in the lost lands. It failed to make connections on just my computer, while all others seem to work just fine. I am used to things like this happening there. I have developed a theory about disturbed souls and other unlikely supernatural happenings that explains everything relating to this jobsite.

Too bad I don’t believe a word of it.

This theory is, however, rapidly becoming something of an urban legend. People do love to have something to gossip about. They especially love it when it involves delicate parts of anatomy and pain for others.

I am hoping to escape this particular jobsite fairly soon, but if the individuals that run the asylum don’t get their shit together I will be getting Christmas cards there. They were supposed to be trying to get a Certificate of Occupancy in about five days, but without permanent power, water, carpet, air conditioning, or all the doors, I don’t think they are going to be ready.

It is my opinion that the powers that be are actually quite delusional about the state of this jobsite. (Note: Too many meetings cause enough brain damage so you can no longer see the real world.)

I really do have to finish soon. The next job is rumored to be ready and I want some time off to readjust to the real world instead of the imaginary reality of Santa Fe.

Please wish me luck. I think I am going to need it.