Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Possum Bottom

Friday, March 12th, 2010

I have posted repeatedly about the jobsite I am on and how it is so challenging to get anything done.

This last week takes the cake; now that we are in the final stages and the ‘owners’ are taking over, the mood is lightening up a bit.

Somehow, a fart battle of epic proportions began in the superintendent’s office trailer. One guy would sneak a little poot, to be answered by a butt berry, to be returned with a wet wipe special, and so on.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the trailer to annoy someone and was greeted at the trailer door with a STENCH! The only way I could think of to describe it was that someone was eating raw possum and it disagreed with them. You could almost see the green tinge to the air, and I noticed that all the windows and doors were closed.

The creator of this special gift was self satisfied and giggled like a school girl when I mentioned it.

Being the kind and caring individual that I am, I decided be needed a new nickname; “Possum Bottom”.

And since I know that they are reading this at the superintendent’s trailer, I might as well send warm greetings to Possum Bottom and that “Pass the Buck Paper Pusher”- E-digger.

Greetings, Assholes, you are gonna miss me.

Quotes suspended because I feel certain that these two can not resist commenting.

Sexy women, Utah, Fiery Foods, and keeping Busy

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

(In my best Yoda voice) “Busy as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest, I am.”

A couple of weeks ago, the lovely Mrs. and I had friends fly in from Sacremento. Well, to be honest, they were not my friends until I actually got to meet them. After we met, I found that my curmudgeon gene had not entirely taken over and that I could again enjoy being with certain people.

We had a GREAT time playing tour guides, socializing, getting pissed off at bar tenders, and flirting with each other’s respective spouses. I feel like a human again.

Even before my new friends left, I had to be on my way to Utah for work. Two days of driving put me in some ghetto RV park in a town that closes everything on Sunday. I did my best to get my ass out of that town as quickly as possible, finishing a two week job in about one week.

Grueling drive back to the park in NM, a night of sleep, then back to Sanctuary to see the Mrs. (whom I missed sorely) An opportunity to go to the Fiery Foods Show at the casino in the afternoon was a whopping success. Who in their right mind would make spicy peanut butter? Hot pepper Jelly? Also on hand were many round female breasts at liquor booths. No man in his right mind can look away from pert young breasts and Tequila.

Saturday saw me in the theatre watching Alice in Wonderland. I totally got it and give a single finger salute to those who give it bad reviews because it was not the original story. It was not meant to be. I think it was intended as a tribute, not as an interpretation. Listen and look for references to Maxfield Parrish, The Wizard of Oz, and particularly an overblown and weak stomached Glinda the Good.

Sunday shall be a day for gentling and rest before I journey back to Lala land for (hopefully) the final installment of installation.

I believe that the federal government could learn something from this, but would fail to do so.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams, “Last Chance to See”

And by way of illustration: http://www.lcni5.com/cgi-bin/c2.cgi?075+article+News+20100304160543075075004

Some things don’t seem to change

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

Conditions in La La Land have not changed. I am emotionally convinced that the ‘powers that be’ do not WANT to finish this building.

Recently I was directed to install two pieces of specialty equipment. It was rather simple, really. Thirty holes drilled into the concrete floor, thirty concrete fasteners in the holes, tighten to manufacturer’s specifications, done. All told, it should have taken me less than two days from the time the equipment arrived at the door to being done with my part and moving on.

NOT!

I was required to use concrete fasteners that were specified by La La Land, not the equipment manufacturer. When I tightened these fasteners to La La Land specifications, they tightened up and interfered with the device itself. * To those of us who wear blue collars, the solution would seem obvious; cut the top off the fastener. I was told that I was not allowed to do this until I had a directive in writing as to what was acceptable.

I waited nearly two weeks with no direction. I brought it to management attention every day. I was told that I would have direction soon. Soon became a series of “reasons” that no one could give me direction in writing, and now telling me verbally to cut the tops off the bolts.

I called “bullshit” and demanded written direction, publicly and loudly.

I finally got the direction I needed. It took me less than 20 minutes to cut the bolts.

It took me over three weeks to do a job that should have taken me two days. Why? Because there were always “reasons” that things could not be done. **

I am convinced that there is so much “cover my ass” in La La Land that no one can even remember “get ‘er done” or what it means.

There are so many layers of specifications and requirements that no one even knows what is acceptable. If you ask the people who are supposed to know, they are afraid to commit because there may be something they missed or don’t know about and they don’t want to be responsible.

They are mired in the syrup of government protectionism. They are taking away any ownership the crafts can have of their work, and any pride a craftsperson had when they arrived. They are not trying to fix a system that obviously does not work.

And today’s quote is a long one;
Pournelle’s Iron Law of Bureaucracy states that in any bureaucratic organization there will be two kinds of people. First, there will be those who are devoted to the goals of the organization. Examples are dedicated classroom teachers in an educational bureaucracy, many of the engineers are scientists at NASA, even some agricultural scientists and advisors in the former Soviet Union collective farming administration.
Secondly, there will be those dedicated to the organization itself. Examples are many of the administrators in the education system, many professors of education, many teachers union officials, much of the NASA headquarters staff, etc.
The Iron Law states that in every case the second group will gain and keep control of the organization. It will write the rules, and control promotions within the organization.

*While I was drilling these holes, I was ‘observed’ by never less than one quality control inspector and three safety observers. These individuals did nothing other than watch me to make certain I was following proper procedures. Four people stood there and watched me work alone. It was almost like I was living a cliché.

**Not on my part. I was ready every time I could do anything and pushed the hell out of others to get their parts ready so I could do my job.

Acceptance of personal risk.

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

I woke up this morning.

When I stepped out of bed, my foot landed on something sharp. I decided to not sue someone for making something sharp that I could step on. I did not go to the doctor to have the item removed, I just pulled it out with my fingers. I did not feel that the carpet might have too many hidden crevasses that might harbor something that can hurt me. I did not look for someone or something to blame.

During breakfast, I bit down on something hard in my breakfast burrito. I did not call the manufacturer and demand free burritos for life just because I was surprised and bit my tongue.

On my way to my truck, I slipped on some ice and fell on my ass. It never occurred to me to try to blame someone for freezing conditions or a lack of snow removal.

I do not expect someone else to look out for my welfare all the time. I accept that each and every day has in it risks that I will have to take and that it is MY responsibility to look out for myself. It is not yours, the government’s, the manufacturer of the crayon that I just ate, or the cute waitress that spilled hot coffee on me when she stumbled on a fork that some random kid dropped on the floor.

I think that it is time that we all learn to take responsibility for our own actions; good, bad, or indifferent. It is time we all learned that placing blame elsewhere is not really getting anything done.

Let’s face it folks; SHIT HAPPENS!

I could have looked down before I placed my foot on the floor. I could have been paying more attention when I was eating that burrito. I could have walked around the icy patch. I could have made the choice to not eat that crayon. (BTW They DON’T taste as good as they look!)

When we as Americans start placing responsibility where it actually belongs, we will begin to become a society of strong individuals and therefore a stronger society.

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence. Napoleon Bonaparte

Weekend with Dogs

Monday, January 18th, 2010

The “Weekend With the Dogs” has been going pretty well. We took them all along for a long drive to visit friends and they behaved pretty well except for the small one that really wanted to help the Mrs. drive. The Mrs. does not need help driving. She gets enough help from me in the back seat.

They are predicting snow for LA LA Land. Just what I need, get shut down because New Mexico has never realized that it does snow here and that it can be removed from the roads in less than days. LA LA Land will probably shut down just because they can use a snow event as a good excuse. They are so afraid that someone is going to get hurt up there that I am surprised they do not make everyone wear airbag suits all day.

In LA LA Land, if you trip on a crack in the sidewalk they want you to fill out a thirty page form about the event and then have meetings about how the accident could have been prevented. No one will ever say something simple like, “He should have stepped over the crack.” Or “He was not watching where he was walking.” It is all about the system and what changes should be made to prevent stupid.

And that leads me to my quote for today. This little gem comes from Mr. Frank Zappa, composer and curmudgeon.

“It is not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity and make it work for you.” – Frank Zappa

And an added bonus, another quote further explaining my feelings about people in general;

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.” – Frank Zappa

I wonder if that is where the word “Quark” came from.

Smoke

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

I have to admit that I have never understood the mentality that lets certain people feed without mercy at the government teat.

Don’t get me wrong; I am not referring to those who actually do things and happen to work for the government, I am referring to those who choose to take advantage of the system and rape us all by sucking every penny they can for doing as little as possible.

In a brief discussion this week I heard a person refer to the project that I am on as ‘welfare state’; I almost swooned. It was nice to learn that I am not the only one that thinks there is something wrong.

I had to attend a meeting to address issues that have been going on for months. I left feeling frustrated because everyone had well practiced excuses as to why things are not happening as they should, but no one actually proposed any solutions!

I am working at what is reputed to be the hub of creative thought in the free world and no one here is willing to try to even consider solving what is obviously a costly problem.

There are obviously trades/individuals that don’t want this project to move forward. They take advantage of chinks in the system and stall everything they can whenever they can.

I just don’t get it.

Here is an example of the mentality of the people working there:

In the basement there is an elevator pit. It is a large pit that is meant to hold equipment that makes the freight elevator work. The freight elevator is necessary to move things into the basement.

The company that installs the elevators went away because the elevator pit was full of urine. It seems that the worker people were too lazy to actually walk to the toilets and porta potties and would just let fly in the pit. This went on for quite some time until the pit was quite deep in piss.

I actually thought that only small children and wild animals urinated where they felt the urge. Now I have learned that certain construction workers have less control than infants and forest creatures. My house pets have more control and are forced to stay inside for longer than these people.

The fact that they got away with this behavior tells me a lot about things happening on this project. The fact that it went on for so long tells me far more.

The people that manage this project are not solving these problems and it has gotten to the point that there are too many problems for a handful of people to solve. The whole situation is out of control.

I told one of the managers that I have had so much smoke blown up my ass that when I fart I blow baby powder.

Almost ready

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

It’s foggy out, and my favorite event to avoid is looking like it will be cancelled for today.

The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta is on hold while I sit warm in sanctuary enjoying a fresh pot of coffee and enjoying the fact that I am not out in the cold freezing my ass off.

I used to really like going to the fiesta, but after years of seeing organized chaos and colorful gasbags floating in the sky the interest waned.

Downsizing continues and we are almost ready for the massive moving sale. I will be glad to see most of this stuff gone. It is amazing how much stuff a family can collect and store but never actually use. I am so determined to downsize that I am even going to sell tools. For me, this is a serious commitment to a new lifestyle.

We are also remodeling to a degree and the chaos in the house far exceeds my comfort levels. With all the stuff for sale and all the moving to paint and tile and clean, being in Sanctuary is like being in a warehouse.

Can I interest you in a stereo or some furniture?

Yet another reason that I hate people

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

We got back to Sanctuary a week ago Thursday after a rather good vacation. That night the house sitter bailed her boyfriend out of jail and brought him to the house. We knew this was going to happen and were told he was just going to be here for a short period of time and that he was trying to reform and would not do anything to jeopardize his release. (Bla bla bla)

Friday we went to town, leaving the house sitter and her BF at the house. After about an hour, Mrs. Troll’s cell phone rang. She gave me a strange look before answering. It was my cell phone that I had left back at the house. There was no response and no answer when she called it back.

When we returned home I looked for the phone. It was gone, along with my work computer and other things. After a while and being told that he would never do anything like that, the house sitter and her boyfriend left to run ‘errands’.

We called the police and gave them the story and all the information. They called back later to inform us that the boyfriend had 50 prior arrests and many of them were for aggravated assault and that we should call immediately if the couple returned.

I have heard it said, “No good deed goes unpunished.” That is how I feel. The Mrs. was trying to help out a worker friend in providing a place to stay that was comfortable for awhile and a place for her boyfriend to hang. It was less than 24 hours before the boyfriend had to shit where he was being fed.

“But he is innocent until proven guilty” you may be thinking. He and the house sitter were in the house when these things came up missing. I know this because the cell phone was being charged when I left it. There were three calls made on that phone after I left. When I returned home the phone was gone. We have two dogs that would raise holy hell if there were a stranger in the house.

If it quacks like a duck and waddles when it walks, it is probably a duck. I have never had problems like this in this house before. The police tell me that burglary is very rare in this area. Quack.

I packed up all their stuff and put it outside, telling the Mrs. that she should text her friend and tell her that she could pick it up from the door. The friend still denies that her BF would do anything like that, even though records say something different.

I hope this bastard gets exactly what he deserves.

LOST

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Lost somewhere in Oklahoma in a town I can barely pronounce. (Tahlequah)

Well, not really lost. We (The lovely, talented, and sexy Mrs. Troll and I*) came here to visit with my soul sister for a few days. I was not really aware of just where the bitch moved and how far it is from Sanctuary.

I feel like we drove halfway across the country in just one day. Over 700 miles and I was getting a froggy by the time we arrived. I was at the point where my ass hurt from sitting too long and things were getting monotonous and I really wanted to stop the motion and get to where we were going and we had to keep rambling on just like this sentence and it seemed to never end.

Then we drove past the carnival with this inflatable kid’s bouncing thing with the guy on top and the giant cannon/phallic symbol. In my state of fog and the lighting it looked to me like a giant nun with a huge penis. I may never be the same after seeing that. I have tried to remove that location of my brain, but it seems to be sharing resources with something else and refuses to be erased.

The Mrs. has been having a marathon shopping spree, buying things that we get to take back to NM and repack for the downsizing. I do not question the logic of this. Women and weather do as they will.

Caught between having time, the desire to stay and visit and the need to go back and do downsizing things our immediate future is undecided. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I think the rest of this month will be difficult for me and I can use a recharge.

I am hoping for major dental work this month. I have been putting this off for years and it is time to get things fixed. I HATE dental work with the fire of a thousand suns, but I have put things off for to long and am going to get this done.

My project is going weird in Los Alamos and I am struggling to keep anyone happy. Plans change from day to day and I have been given notice that we will be removing installed product to accommodate other trades. This project is just not moving forward.

My patience shall be tested in the near future. I am ready. If I am not, I shall self medicate and put on a happy face before drawing my weapon and taking aim.

In the meantime; it is beautiful here with these giant green things that grow EVERYWHERE and make shade under them. I think they call them ‘trees’ or something like that. They also have this green stuff that grows on the ground that covers the dirt that they call ‘grasses’. It is amazing. Wherever you look it is green instead of brown, red, and other colors of dirt.

It actually rains here. Not the “Get the hell outta the way here comes a storm” kinda rain I am used to, but a nice gentle rain that goes on for hours that you can actually walk in and not get blown away to visit relatives in Kansas.

On that note; it is time to go out in the rain and do something that involves moving something heavy or perhaps buying something that needs repacking, I can’t remember which.

*She really is looking hot. She bought a dress for eight dollars and when she tried it on I wanted to drop one wing and dance around while trying to sniff her. I guess she can bring out the perverted old man in me.

Downsizing

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

The lovely and talented Mrs. Troll came up with this one, but it fits so well that I am stealing it and not even bothering to file off the serial numbers.

We are downsizing.

With both of us losing so much weight and getting rid of the house I think that the concept of downsizing is appropriate on many levels.

We are getting the house ready to put on the market. We don’t need this big ol’ place anymore and are moving toward something smaller. We don’t know what we are going to do yet, but are willing to let circumstances help us decide.

It is amazing how much a family can accumulate in less than a decade in one place. It is also amazing how much you want to keep when you are determined to get rid of things.
Can you tell me why any house needs more than one desk per person? With just the two of us, we are the proud owners of 6 desks. Yes, it is definitely time to downsize.

We both have cloths that fit us like burlap bags on a frog. We have WAY too much furniture and shoes uncounted. Luggage hides in closets and in the garage, knick knacks and pictures on the walls all need to be sorted and stored or sold.

BOOKS! We have a tremendous amount of books that need to be sorted, stored, sold, given away, or trashed. Sigh. Parting with books is like your child leaving for kindergarten for the first time.

There is a lot of work in my future. Mt day job is not going away and now my evenings and weekends are filled with things to do and furniture to move. The whole place needs to be painted and the tile project begins today.

Wish me luck and forgive the lack of attention to this site, but I seem to have something in the oven. Updates will be forthcoming.

T