Troll’s Hole

Lost somewhere in Oklahoma in a town I can barely pronounce. (Tahlequah)

Well, not really lost. We (The lovely, talented, and sexy Mrs. Troll and I*) came here to visit with my soul sister for a few days. I was not really aware of just where the bitch moved and how far it is from Sanctuary.

I feel like we drove halfway across the country in just one day. Over 700 miles and I was getting a froggy by the time we arrived. I was at the point where my ass hurt from sitting too long and things were getting monotonous and I really wanted to stop the motion and get to where we were going and we had to keep rambling on just like this sentence and it seemed to never end.

Then we drove past the carnival with this inflatable kid’s bouncing thing with the guy on top and the giant cannon/phallic symbol. In my state of fog and the lighting it looked to me like a giant nun with a huge penis. I may never be the same after seeing that. I have tried to remove that location of my brain, but it seems to be sharing resources with something else and refuses to be erased.

The Mrs. has been having a marathon shopping spree, buying things that we get to take back to NM and repack for the downsizing. I do not question the logic of this. Women and weather do as they will.

Caught between having time, the desire to stay and visit and the need to go back and do downsizing things our immediate future is undecided. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I think the rest of this month will be difficult for me and I can use a recharge.

I am hoping for major dental work this month. I have been putting this off for years and it is time to get things fixed. I HATE dental work with the fire of a thousand suns, but I have put things off for to long and am going to get this done.

My project is going weird in Los Alamos and I am struggling to keep anyone happy. Plans change from day to day and I have been given notice that we will be removing installed product to accommodate other trades. This project is just not moving forward.

My patience shall be tested in the near future. I am ready. If I am not, I shall self medicate and put on a happy face before drawing my weapon and taking aim.

In the meantime; it is beautiful here with these giant green things that grow EVERYWHERE and make shade under them. I think they call them ‘trees’ or something like that. They also have this green stuff that grows on the ground that covers the dirt that they call ‘grasses’. It is amazing. Wherever you look it is green instead of brown, red, and other colors of dirt.

It actually rains here. Not the “Get the hell outta the way here comes a storm” kinda rain I am used to, but a nice gentle rain that goes on for hours that you can actually walk in and not get blown away to visit relatives in Kansas.

On that note; it is time to go out in the rain and do something that involves moving something heavy or perhaps buying something that needs repacking, I can’t remember which.

*She really is looking hot. She bought a dress for eight dollars and when she tried it on I wanted to drop one wing and dance around while trying to sniff her. I guess she can bring out the perverted old man in me.

The lovely and talented Mrs. Troll came up with this one, but it fits so well that I am stealing it and not even bothering to file off the serial numbers.

We are downsizing.

With both of us losing so much weight and getting rid of the house I think that the concept of downsizing is appropriate on many levels.

We are getting the house ready to put on the market. We don’t need this big ol’ place anymore and are moving toward something smaller. We don’t know what we are going to do yet, but are willing to let circumstances help us decide.

It is amazing how much a family can accumulate in less than a decade in one place. It is also amazing how much you want to keep when you are determined to get rid of things.
Can you tell me why any house needs more than one desk per person? With just the two of us, we are the proud owners of 6 desks. Yes, it is definitely time to downsize.

We both have cloths that fit us like burlap bags on a frog. We have WAY too much furniture and shoes uncounted. Luggage hides in closets and in the garage, knick knacks and pictures on the walls all need to be sorted and stored or sold.

BOOKS! We have a tremendous amount of books that need to be sorted, stored, sold, given away, or trashed. Sigh. Parting with books is like your child leaving for kindergarten for the first time.

There is a lot of work in my future. Mt day job is not going away and now my evenings and weekends are filled with things to do and furniture to move. The whole place needs to be painted and the tile project begins today.

Wish me luck and forgive the lack of attention to this site, but I seem to have something in the oven. Updates will be forthcoming.

T

Greeting from somewhere near Denver Colorado;

I am here on a mixed trip for work and pleasure. I had to attend a meeting at the corporate office to learn about changes in company policy, then met up with the lovely Mrs. Troll who drove up for a family get together.

Last night I went to the get together where I consumed quantities of ethanol and managed to offend very few, if any. What am I coming to? Could I be mellowing in my old age? Am I losing my touch? Why am I asking myself questions on this blog?

All in all I am having a good time, but anxious to go back home and have more fun on the trip and after I get home.

Busy, busy, busy!

When you turn off the lights, it becomes dark.

Someone that I am very close to said this to me the other day and it really stuck.

She was referring to a simple light switch, but I took the broader view and realized that this simple statement could be about life as well.

For a while, I turned off my lights, and it was indeed dark. I narrowed my world to seeking security and forgot about all the things that make life precious and interesting.

It’s easy to turn off the light; it is far harder to turn it back on. Once that switch goes ‘off’ it becomes hard to find it in the dark. We run our hand up and down the wall in the place where we think the switch should be, but can’t seem to find it. Life is like that.

I had some help in finding that switch.

I have been getting in touch with friends from my past and socializing again. I have been riding my bicycle and going to the gym. I have been trying to get out more and do things that I have not done in a long while.

I feel the light coming back on.

Again I come to that time of the week where I feel the need to write something pithy, meaningful, or insightful.

I usually end up with drivel, but I plug away. I don’t really to this for others, I do it for me. That way I only have to satisfy my harshest critic: Myself. I feel that there is a place in this world for more drivel.

And in the NEWS….

I am not happy with the media’s fascination with ‘The Gloved One’ taking the final moon walk. They are following his every move after he is dead. How challenging. I was never a great fan, but I think that now that he is passed we might just try to show more respect than postmortem idol worship and morbid obsession.

Any way you look at him, he was damaged. Whether by fame, gender dysfunction, abusive parents, an imagined excess of melanin in his skin, or being just fucked up, he was obviously not normal. Now he is not alive and he will remain that way.

“Birth is the original terminal disease.” – Me

I say let’s let the poor damaged bastard rest in peace and move on with OUR lives instead of reliving the highs and lows of his life.

We also seem obsessed with Iran and the election and following protests. I think we all know what is going to happen. Why are we so fascinated in seeing the obvious come about? Let’s have a daily news story about the sun coming up or going down to make us feel informed.

On that note; go to this site. It is very informative and presses the point to places even I never went.
http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

So says the Troll.

Back when I was a sprout I was told by teachers and other people that I should aspire to a career. I wanted to become an inventor, thinking up cool gadgets and fiddling with inventor junk until I came up with something patentable to make my fortune and a secure future. I wanted to be Ron Popeil’s dad. I wanted to be Edison or Tesla or the guy that invented the hook and loop fastener. If I were a kid today I would want my invention to be pitched by two guys that have their own TV show on the Discovery Channel.

That all went out the window when my high school guidance counselor took offence at my subtle joke about a carrot and his toilet training during a mentoring session. High school administrative people seldom seem to have a sense of humor. This man had even less than most. He failed me and killed my aspirations.

During a company training session a few weeks ago, I had to take one of those tests that tell you what kind of personality you have. I was confused when I scored ‘creative’ on three out of three sets. No one else in the room came close to three out of three in anything, let alone creative.

Maybe I missed my calling by not sticking to my guns and making a basement laboratory with incomprehensible electric gadgets and flickering lights. I could have been that weird guy down the street that is collecting snail slime from the neighborhood yards in little blue glass jars. I could be comfortable with being that way if I had a lot of money.

It seems that was not in the cards.

Instead, I have become a foreman for a national specialty subcontractor. That means that my company purchases and installs specialty items for construction companies. “What is a specialty item?” you might ask. A specialty item is anything from anodized angle brackets to zippered zebra skin doors. It can be anything that an architect can want and imagine. (A strange lot)

I worked my way to being a foreman with this company. I did not grease my way into the position by kissing asses and performing deviant sexual acts for morons. I simply took my job seriously and did the best I could and worked at my job every day. They decided that they trusted me enough to let me run work for them in different states.

When I think back to the projects that I have worked on and the things that I have accomplished, I find that I don’t miss being an inventor one damn bit.

Is that what they call ‘job satisfaction’?

Why do I always get all the stupid questions?

I have to keep explaining to people that I don’t know what someone else was thinking when they made this decision or that decision that does not seem to make any sense. How in hell would I know what someone else was thinking? Do they think I have a secret mirror that looks into people’s brains that I have not told myself about? They should ask the person that is actually involved with that decision making process and leave me the hell out of it!

I usually respond to a stupid question with this line; “I don’t know, but perhaps you can answer something for me; why would God put a wet runny think like your nose right over your mouth?”

They seldom get it. Sarcasm and irony are wasted on most people.

I am always surprised at the lack of thought that goes into everyday life. In the new day and age, people seem to think that they should be handed the answers to everything and that thinking is too hard. If you give someone a problem to solve, they will ask you to give them the solution before you are finished describing the problem.

I just don’t get it.

Have we become so lazy as a society that even something as inactive as thinking is too hard? Has the age of instant gratification made thinking too difficult? Has TV ruined our brains and turned them into semi functioning jello-like substance that barely succeeds in keeping our skulls full of something?

“The conclusion is where you got tired of thinking” seems to sum up how we look at problems. This is usually occurs right after we begin and before we actually do something.

I used to think that schools were supposed to teach these things, but learned that they do not and have no intention to. It’s too hard.

“You can lead a child to knowledge, but you can’t make him think.”

I began a rather pithy and bitter post, but failed to finish it in a blaze of bah fucking humbug.

Since my escape from Hell, I have been trying to make some changes in my life. I am trying to be a better husband, a better man, and get in better shape.

These things take time and energy. The funny thing about getting in better shape is that the more you exercise, the more you CAN exercise. A few weeks ago it was effort to just get through one workout with the Mrs. and not walk like an old man with hip problems. Yesterday we worked out and I felt great after we were done and even mustered the energy to go for a short bicycle ride later in the day.

Progress is being made.

My work life is rather boring right now (Which is a very good thing) and I am only working eight hour days. This seems like a vacation after the long days that I worked for a long time. I intend to take advantage of this time and relax. I am certain that I will be called to work long hours again soon.

I have been writing more, but very little makes it to here. I fit in my writing mostly in the wee hours before the rest of the word wakes, and that limits what gets done.

But I am working on it. This makes me feel better and I am sure that there is more material for here in the near future.

Troll is touching himself and saying, “I’m feeling MUCH better now”.

Sorry. Those of you who might know me from a long time ago would know what that means, but I doubt that anyone that reads this will get it.

I seem to be recovering, but still feel stuffy in one ear. This makes listening difficult. Two days ago both ears felt this way, so any improvement is good.

I have been suffering from a burst of energy and have been doing many things around the house. It’s about time too. I have let too many things go in the time I was on the road.

I have begun exercising with the Mrs. and this has progressed to the point where I actually got out the bicycle again and put it on the road.

In my long lost past I used to ride almost everywhere and even just a few years ago I was doing 40 mile weekends fairly regularly. I am hoping to take it up again because I have always loved it. Riding is a great time to think and take time to look at things. It is good for the soul and the body.

Now that the kids are grown it is time to make changes in the way I live. I have always looked forward to this time in my life, and I think it has finally arrived.

I just better not get perky and nice. If that happens I will have to drown myself in a bucket of molten lead.